


Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner

by edgarallanrose



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 'Swawesome Santa 2018, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baking, Christmas, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Holiday Smooches, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Set during Year 2, Slow Burn, Stress Baking, so much baking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 08:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17117621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edgarallanrose/pseuds/edgarallanrose
Summary: “I’ll be your boyfriend.”Bitty blinked. “You’ll what now?”“For pretend!” Jack amended. “I can pretend to be your boyfriend, so your parents will believe you.”Bitty stayed up practically that whole night weighing the pros and cons.Pro:-Jack could spend Christmas with him.-His parents would have to accept his sexuality, or at least wouldn’t be able to ignore it anymore.-If his parents did get mad and/or decide they didn’t love him, he wouldn’t be alone.-Bitty felt safer with Jack.Con:-Jack was not actually Bitty’s boyfriend.A 'Swawesome Santa 2018 fic!





	Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leahelisabeth (fortheloveofcamelot)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fortheloveofcamelot/gifts).



> I was assigned this prompt from Leahelisabeth: "Jack offers to be Bitty's fake boyfriend. Bitty came out to his parents but they don't believe he's serious so he decides he has to take a boyfriend to family Christmas"
> 
> As you might be able to tell, I had waaay too much fun with this prompt. Thank you a thousand and one times to my betas, the most beautiful wives a girl could ask for, Lea and Jillian! All remaining mistakes my own (and preemptive apologies to any French speakers out there).
> 
> I hope you enjoy, Leahelisabeth <3 Merry Holiday!

**DECEMBER, 2014 **

“You don’t have to do this,” Bitty said for perhaps the 287th time since they had left Samwell for Madison, Georgia. “You can still back out.”

“Nice try, Bittle, but I made a promise,” Jack said. He was standing by the carousel at baggage claim, keeping an eye out for their bags. Bitty pointed out his suitcase before it went past, and Jack went to fetch it for him, like the perfect gentlemen he was. Jack’s bag wasn’t far behind. He walked back and set them both down next to Bitty. “Besides, I’ve got your back, remember?”

“Jack, this is above and beyond a favor for a teammate. Hell, even a friend.”

“Listen, if you don’t want to—”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, I just –” Bitty stared at his feet, scuffing the blue and white speckled tile with his boot.

How could Bitty put this? That he didn’t like having to come out with the truth through yet another lie? That maybe this lie was hard because it was too close to the truth? That Jack pretending to be his boyfriend, even though Jack was straight, made Bitty a little sad? (A lot sad?) That the charade might ruin any hope of him one day finding a real boyfriend who could measure up to this absolute dream scenario?

“I’m just nervous,” Bitty said.

“It’ll be fine, bud,” Jack said. “Just gotta stick to the game plan, tell your parents at dinner that we’re dating. And if it goes horribly wrong, we stick to the escape plan and immediately bail to join Shitty in Florida for Christmas.”

Jack wasn’t kidding about the game plan and escape plan. He had drawn an actual playbook with diagrams on some napkins and reviewed them with Bitty on the plane.

“Alright,” Bitty sighed. He glanced over Jack’s shoulder and saw a small, blonde head moving towards them through the crowd. “Oh, there’s my mama.”

“Boys!” Suzanne called and waved.

Bitty already wanted to cry at the sight of her. Mostly, he just missed his mom, like he always did. But now there was added weight between them and disappointment on both sides. What was worse is that Bitty was 100% sure she wasn’t even going to acknowledge it.

“Hi, mama,” Bitty said, wrapping her up in a hug. Bitty may have imagined it, but the hug seemed tighter than usual.

“Hi, baby. And Jack!” Suzanne reached up on her tiptoes and Jack stooped down to hug her as well. “So good to see you again! We’re just thrilled to have you for the holidays!”

Jack stepped back in line with Bitty and put an arm around his shoulders, tugging him into his side. Bitty’s blood rushed straight to his face, burning his ears. Lord, how was Bitty supposed to get through two weeks of this?

“Nowhere else I’d rather spend it, Mrs. Bittle.”

\---

The plan had been devised one month before.

Bitty was stress-baking in the Haus kitchen. It was still early on a Sunday — none of the other boys were awake yet. He had managed to get the first two pies started with no fuss, but when he started on the filling for a breakfast Danish, the oven started to make the noise it always made when it was about to die on him — a sort of death rattle and then an odor that made the whole room stink like hot metal.

“No, Betsy, no.” Bitty got on his knees and pleaded with the oven. “You can’t do this, not now.”

The oven made one final groan before turning off completely. Bitty reached blindly up on the counter for his phone, keeping his eyes on the pies in the oven, so he could text Dex to come over and fix her as soon as he woke up. Instead of his hand landing where he thought his phone was, he hit the edge of his mixing bowl and cream cheese filling splattered all over the floor and the side of his body.

Bitty burst into tears.

“Um, morning Bittle.”

Bitty sucked in a breath. Jack was standing in the kitchen doorway, back from his morning run because why take a day off literally ever. He was only wearing a light jacket and shorts, despite it being about 42 degrees outside. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead, cheeks pink from the cold and exertion.

Lord, he looked good.

And Bitty had snot and cream cheese running down his face. Bitty wiped his nose with his sleeve.

“Morning.”

“Everything okay?”

“Fine, just fine.” Bitty’s voice broke. “Peachy keen.”

“Want some help cleaning up?”

Bitty nodded.

Jack grabbed a rag and started mopping up the floor while Bitty cleaned himself off by the sink.

“Listen, uh, I know I’m not exactly Shitty with the whole…good with emotions, thing,” Jack said when he was done, awkwardly placing a hand on Bitty’s shoulder. Bitty leaned into it anyway. “But if you need to talk, I can listen.”

“I came out to my parents.”

Jack stared. “Oh.”

“It was not what I expected.”

“What happened?”

“I was on speaker phone with them this morning, just solidifying holiday plans, plane tickets and such and my dad just kept saying stuff like, ‘Should we get an extra ticket for your girlfriend?’ You know, stupid stuff like that. Just teasing. And my mama mentioned that a girl from my high school who works at the Hobby Lobby now was _so_ excited that I would be home for Christmas, so my mama gave her my number _just in case_ and I got angry and I just said it. I said I was gay.”

Jack steered Bitty toward the kitchen table and sat him down in a chair. Bitty started to cry again. Jack sat across from him and honestly Bitty was surprised this hadn’t sent Jack running yet. Instead, his brow was furrowed, concerned.

“And what did they say?”

“At first they didn’t say anything. And then –” Bitty’s voice cracked, “then Mama asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. Then asked if I ever had a boyfriend. Also, no. And she said, ‘So how can you know? How can you be sure? You shouldn’t try to label yourself, you’ll figure it out.’ Then coach laughed. Said I just hit my head too hard last season, I would come around soon.”

“Bitty,” Jack said, hand twitching like he wanted to reach out, but he didn’t. Bitty wished he would. “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t expect them to be, like, ready to march at the pride parade with me,” Bitty sniffed. “If anything, I thought they’d be mad. Maybe upset. Not just outright deny it.”

“I’m sorry,” Jack said again, quieter this time. “I wish there was a way I could help you.”

“It’s okay. I’m sure they’ll just pretend it never happened.”

A few days later, Bitty was getting ready for bed when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

“It’s Jack,” said the muffled voice from behind the door.

“Come in.”

Jack stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I have an idea.”

“What kind of idea?”

“How to help you with your parents.”

“Oh.” Bitty’s brow wrinkled. “Jack, you don’t need to worry—”

“No, just, hear me out.” Jack looked so serious and intense it almost made Bitty want to laugh, but at the same time Jack’s thoughtfulness melted Bitty’s heart a little.

Bitty motioned for Jack to take a seat on the edge of his bed, and Jack did, facing Bitty and tucking a leg underneath himself. Jack took a deep breath and squared his jaw.

“I’ll be your boyfriend.”

Bitty blinked. “You’ll what now?”

“For pretend!” Jack amended. “I can pretend to be your boyfriend, so your parents will believe you.”

“How would that help? And aren’t you actually seeing someone right now?”

“Who? Camilla? We…no. I broke it off after Winter Screw.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Never mind that. You said that your mom thought you couldn’t know if you were gay since you don’t have a boyfriend so,” he gestured to himself, “why don’t you bring one home for Christmas, eh? Show ‘em you’re serious.”

“Oh, Jack, that’s a very nice idea, but I couldn’t keep you from your family on Christmas.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Jack said. “That’s why I had the idea. My parents are going on a Norwegian river cruise or something. Shitty offered to drag me to Ft. Lauderdale with his family to visit his crazy, rich grandma, but then I thought, instead—”

Bitty crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “You’d rather spend your Christmas in the homophobic South?”

“I’d rather spend it with you,” Jack said, then stuttered. “Helping you, that is.”

“Jack, this is so nice of you to offer, but I just don’t know.”

“Well, think about it,” Jack said. The corner of his mouth pulled up in a small smile. “Besides, you’d actually be doing me a favor. Shitty’s grandma really is crazy.”

Bitty did think about it. Then thought about it some more. He stayed up practically that whole night weighing the pros and cons.

Pro:

  * Jack could spend Christmas with him.
  * His parents would have to accept his sexuality, or at least wouldn’t be able to ignore it anymore.
  * If his parents did get mad and/or decide they didn’t love him, he wouldn’t be alone.
  * Bitty felt safer with Jack.



Con:

  * Jack was not actually Bitty’s boyfriend.



The next morning Bitty texted Jack on the way to class.

 **Bitty:** i thought about it. if ur sure…ok. lets do it.

 **Jack:** k

 **Jack:** :-)

**\---**

After Suzanne drove them home from the airport, Jack and Bitty went upstairs to put away their things and set up an air mattress in Bitty’s room for Jack. Coach wasn’t home from practice yet, but Suzanne told them to relax while she made dinner and she’d call them down as soon as he got home.

Bitty could not relax. He paced up and down his room while Jack sat on his bed, admiring the figure skating medals displayed on his wall.

“Wow, Bits, lots of gold.”

“Yes, I was very good,” Bitty said tersely, not really paying attention. “Jack, what if I can’t do this? How am I supposed to come out to them a second time after knowing what happened the first time?”

“First off, you need to calm down,” Jack said, reaching out and grabbing Bitty by the arm. Jack let go when Bitty flinched, but stood up and kept his hands out, like he was trying to calm a spooked horse. “Just sit down. Take a deep breath, from the stomach. There you go. Now, this is going to sound silly, but it works. Um, close your eyes.”

Bitty sat on the edge of his bed but gave Jack the side-eye before shutting them closed.

“Can I touch you?” Jack asked.

“Where?”

“Oh, uh, sorry.” Bitty could practically hear the flustered expression on Jack’s face, which nearly made him smile. “Just your face then down to your chest. You can stop me if you don’t like it.”

“Okay, yes.”

Jack started gently tapping on the center of Bitty’s forehead with the pads of two fingers.

“Breathe in, 1, 2, 3, 4. Now hold it. And breathe out, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.”

Jack continued to gently tap as he directed Bitty’s breathing, moving his fingers to the side of Bitty’s face, his chin, the base of his throat, then his sternum.

“How do you feel?” Jack asked, after a minute or so of this.

“Better,” Bitty said, opening his eyes. And it was true. He wasn’t panicky anymore. Worried, but not overwhelmed. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“My therapist,” Jack said with a shrug. “Now, remember the plan, Bittle. I’m following your lead here, so if you decide to change your mind, that’s okay. But if you go for it, I’m ready to jump in to defend you, ‘kay?”

“Right,” Bitty sighed. “Do you think we should, like, hold hands or something when we tell them?”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded. “That’d be good. Would you want me to, I don’t know, kiss you?”

“Oh! No,” Bitty said, slightly too loud, “no, there’s no need. Even if I did have a real boyfriend, I would never kiss in front of my parents.”

“Not even on the cheek?”

“Jack Zimmermann, if you really want to kiss me, you could’ve just asked,” Bitty teased. Jack’s face turned bright red and Bitty immediately regretted it.

“Oh, um,” Jack stammered, “I didn’t mean. Um.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t chirp. I don’t know if I’ve said this enough, but I am really grateful you’re here Jack, and that you’re doing this for me.”

“Of course, Bits.” Jack looked down at the carpet, scratching at the back of his neck. “You’re my friend, you know? But I’m sure any of the guys would’ve helped if you asked.”

“You know I could never ask,” Bitty said. “Besides, I’m glad it’s you.”

Jack looked up at him with wide, blue eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but then they heard the front door open and close. Coach was home.

“Boys!” Suzanne called from downstairs. “Dinner!”

“You ready?” Jack asked, giving Bitty’s shoulder what he probably hoped was a reassuring pat. Bitty did have to smile at that.

“Nope,” Bitty said. “Let’s go, honey.”

“Honey?”

Bitty thought he might’ve gone too far, but there was a crooked smile on Jack’s face.

“Yes, dear, we’re officially dating now. Which means all the pet names under the sun now belong to you, sweatpea.”

Jack was full-on grinning now. Maybe this didn’t have to be as doom-and-gloom as Bitty had been making it out to be. Maybe they could have a little fun while it lasted. It’d be a silly story they could tell the team after break, something that brought them closer together.

“Alright then, I see. Pet names are okay, so is hand holding, but still no kissing.”

“Mr. Zimmermann!”

“Just trying to keep things straight, Bittle.”

“Oh, honey, there is nothing straight about this.”

Jack snorted as he followed Bitty downstairs.

Dinner started simply enough. Bitty introduced Jack to his dad, who was more than happy to drill Jack with hockey questions for most of the evening. Jack politely answered, doing most of the talking, Bitty occasionally interjecting if he thought Jack was selling himself short. Bitty was having trouble eating. His stomach was in his throat the whole time as he pushed his food around with his fork. Suzanne eyed his plate but didn’t say anything.

When there was a lull in the conversation Bitty eyed Jack out of the corner of his eye, and Jack looked at him like he had been waiting for a cue. He gave Bitty an encouraging smile.

“Does anybody want dessert?” Suzanne asked, oblivious to their silent exchange.

“Actually, Mama, Jack and I have something we want to tell you,” Bitty said, slow and clear, hopefully hiding the fact he thought he might throw up.

Suzanne and Coach blinked. “What is it, Dicky?”

Jack placed his hand flat on the table, palm up. Bitty stared at it for a second before remembering, then covered his hand with his own. Then, making an executive decision, shifted their hands to lace their fingers together. Jack gave him another smile and raised his eyebrows as if to ask, _do you need me to say it?_

But Bitty didn’t.

“Jack and I are dating. Jack is…he’s my boyfriend.”

“Oh,” Suzanne said, eyebrows raised up to her hairline. “Oh, Jack? Well, alright then! That’s just fine.”

“Is it?” Bitty asked. His hand had a death grip on Jack’s. Jack scooted closer to him, leaning his side against him, and Bitty gratefully shrank against it, like his broad shoulders might protect him from emotional harm.

“We love Jack,” she said, then to Jack, “we love you, honey, so that’s – I’m sorry, I’m just surprised, is all.”

“Because it’s me?” Jack asked.

Coach started to nod, and Suzanne tried to elbow him under the table. “No, no. Well, kind of. It’s just that Bitty told us he wasn’t seeing anyone. I wasn’t expecting this.”

“That was my fault,” Jack said, cutting off the explanation Bitty had prepared. “I asked him to keep our relationship a secret because I didn’t want this to affect my chances of getting drafted by the NHL.”

“Smart,” Coach grunted. Bitty was shocked he said a word at all.

“It was a lot to ask of him,” Jack continued. “I could tell it bothered him, so we agreed we should at least share with you. You don’t have to approve, but I didn’t want Bitty to have to keep lying anymore. I care about your son a lot, Mr. and Mrs. Bittle.”

Bitty looked up at Jack with large, shining eyes. “Oh, Jack.”

“Do your parents know?” Suzanne asked.

“No,” Jack said. “Not yet.”

“So how long have you actually been together?”

“A couple months,” Jack said as the same time as Bitty said, “A few weeks.”

Suzanne frowned, and Coach’s mustache twitched.

“We’ve been seeing each other for a couple months,” Bitty said, “but it’s only been official for a few weeks.”

“I see.” Suzanne uncrossed her arms and Coach stayed as stoic as ever. “Well, thank you for telling us. Are you happy, Dicky?”

“Very,” Bitty said, wrapping his other hand around Jack’s arm. “Jack is wonderful, Mama.”

“Okay, then.” Suzanne nodded. There were tears in her eyes and her breath hitched.

“Mama?”

“I think I’ll go get that dessert now,” she said, standing quickly and trying to hide her face.

“Oh, Mama, Jack and I are tired, it’s been a long day. I think we’ll just head to bed.”

“That’s fine, honey,” she said, tears streaming freely down her face now. “I’ve got something in the kitchen I’ve gotta –  I just need – I have to go.”

“Mama, I’m sorry –”

Suzanne made a quick exit from the dining room. Bitty stood up, tears of his own fresh in his eyes and ready to follow her, but Jack took hold of his arm and shook his head.

“I’ll talk to her,” Coach said. “You boys go upstairs.”

“Daddy,” Bitty said, voice choked up again. Good lord, would he ever stop crying? “Daddy, are you okay?”

Coach stared at the ceiling and sighed. “We can talk in the morning. I love you, Dicky. Okay?”

“Okay,” Bitty sniffed. Jack put an arm around him again. “I love you too.”

Jack started to steer Bitty out of the room when Coach called out again.

“I know there’s no chance of anyone getting pregnant, but if I hear _a peep_ from upstairs, Jack is gonna sleep in the garage. Understood?”

Bitty and Jack’s jaws dropped simultaneously.

“Daddy!”

“You heard me,” Coach said, fixing them with a mean stare but simultaneously looking like he wanted to sink into the ground.

“Yes, sir,” Jack said, dragging Bitty upstairs as fast as possible.

“Well,” Jack said once Bitty’s bedroom door was closed behind them, “that could’ve been worse.”

Bitty sat on his bed and grabbed Señor Bun, holding him tight against his chest.

“Bitty? Are you alright?”

“I’m sorry, Jack,” Bitty said, a tear escaping down his cheek. “I feel like all I ever do around you anymore is cry!”

Jack joined him on the bed and wrapped his arms around him, and Bitty let himself be held.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Bitty said. “My parents aren’t around to deceive.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

Jack rubbed his shoulders and Bitty gradually calmed down, but he still clung to Jack’s side. Jack made no indication that he was planning to let Bitty go.

“You said some very pretty things downstairs,” Bitty said eventually.

“Did I?”

“You did. That you care about me and all that. It was very convincing.”

“I do care about you,” Jack said, nudging Bitty and making him smile. “I wish I could’ve said stuff like that when I was in actual relationships.”

“What do you mean?”

“I have a hard time expressing my feelings, sometimes.”

“Nooo, you don’t say.”

“Chirp, chirp, chirp.” Jack rolled his eyes. Bitty snickered. “Camilla once said it was no wonder I played hockey, I was so cold I probably didn’t even feel the ice.”

“Ouch.”

“We were fighting at the time. She was actually a very nice girl, out of my league.”

“Hmph.”

“What?”

“I just doubt that.”

“You saying I’m better?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

“That I’m the best?”

“Alright, Mr. Zimmermann,” Bitty said. He could feel the rise and fall of Jack’s shoulders as he laughed. “I’m saying you don’t completely suck.”

“I’ll take it.”

“And I am very glad you’re here.”

“Sure thing, bud.”

They were quiet after that, but Jack didn’t let go, even though Bitty had long ago stopped crying. At some point Jack shifted the position so Bitty could lie down, Señor Bun clutched in front of him and Jack spooning him from behind. Bitty fell asleep like that, feeling lighter and warmer than he ever had in his whole young life, but also with an ache in his heart.

He wanted to pretend it was real, that everything Jack had said earlier that night was true, but besides deluding himself, that wouldn’t be fair to Jack. Bitty was already surprised by how comfortable Jack was with him, with the whole concept of…this. Being in a gay relationship, even if it was fake. It wasn’t that he ever had reason to expect any deep, underlying homophobia from Jack, but as wonderful and accepting as the SMH team was, he didn’t think that any one of them would be willing to out loud say they were gay, even (and maybe especially) if it was pretend.

But Jack wasn’t afraid to touch him, to hold him; he told his parents how much he _cared_ for him for goodness sake.

Bitty didn’t deserve it, but that didn’t stop him from selfishly enjoying every second.

\---

The next morning Bitty, shockingly, woke up before Jack. At some point in the night Jack had removed Bitty’s shoes and covered him with a blanket. Jack had moved to the air mattress, long legs hanging off the edge. Bitty was delighted to learn he snored a little.

Bitty crept past Jack and down the stairs. He could see the sun just peeking in through the living room window as he walked past and turned into the kitchen. Coach was already sitting at the kitchen table, coffee mug and newspaper in hand.

“Mornin’,” Bitty offered.

“Mornin’,” Coach parroted, not looking up from his paper.

Bitty filled his own cup of coffee, added sugar, dug around in the fridge for the flavored creamer that his mom used.

“I’m going to make waffles if you want some,” Bitty said.

“I’ve gotta get going in a few.”

Bitty sipped his coffee. Still too hot.

“Coach, is Mama okay?”

“She will be.” Coach lowered his paper and looked at Bitty with tired eyes. “Dicky, you’ve got to understand, this might take a little time. We still love you, but you’re not who we thought you were.”

Bitty bit his lip and turned away, banging whisks and mixing bowls onto the counter as he got his waffle ingredients together.

Coach sighed. “Just like your mama,” he said under his breath.

“I haven’t changed,” Bitty said, his back still to Coach. “Nothing about me has changed. I’m still me.”

“Of course you are, but there was a whole big part of you we didn’t know about. We just need to wrap our heads around it, then we can figure this thing out together.”

“I’m sorry,” Bitty said, turning around but keeping his eyes cast downwards. “I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Just be patient with us. That’s all I’m asking.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t bring it up to your mama. Let her take it at her own pace, alright?”

“Yes, sir.”

Shortly after Coach left for work, Jack appeared downstairs, dressed for a run. He goaded Bitty into joining him, then Bitty finished the waffles when they returned. Suzanne joined them for breakfast and seemed to be her usual self, chatting happily and catching Bitty up on the neighborhood gossip. It was as if the previous night had never happened.

Bitty wasn’t sure if that comforted him.

“Are you ready for the Bittle family tradition?” Suzanne asked.

“Am I ready? Mama, I have been prepping and pinning to Pinterest for months.”

“I know, sweetheart, it was rhetorical. You’re a Bittle, you were born ready.”

“What is the Bittle family tradition?” Jack asked.

“We kick everyone’s behind at the County Gingerbread House contest,” Suzanne explained.

“Ah, baking. Of course. I should have expected this.”

“Dolores White thinks she stands a chance this year.” Suzanne and Bitty emitted a simultaneous laugh that could only be described as maniacal.

“Dolores White is delusional,” Bitty said. “Edible gold does not an award-winning gingerbread make.”

“Jack, you ready to help us seal our victory?”

“As Bitty can probably tell you, I’m hopeless in the kitchen.”

“That’s not…completely true.”

“However, I am competitive. Just tell me what you need.”

The next few days were spent almost entirely in the kitchen. Gingerbread walls were erected and frosted, and gingerbread roofs were painstakingly tiled with sliced almonds. When the weekend came, Coach had a day off for Christmas tree shopping. Coach was thrilled that Bitty and Jack could do all the work and give him a break since Suzanne, ‘likes to pick trees big enough to give me a hernia.’

Sometimes, they would take a break from gingerbread and bake other holiday confections. One day when they were making frosted sugar cookies Jack slid up behind Bitty, acting like he was leaning in for a hug only to smear a huge glob of frosting on his nose.

“Nose check!”

“Jack!” Bitty squealed, turning around to flick some powdered sugar at him.

They went back and forth like this for a while, mounting sneak attacks with frosting.

“Ear check!”

“Elbow check!”

“Chin check!”

“Boys!” Suzanne said, between fits of laughter. “You’re making a mess!”

“Sorry, Mama.”

“Sorry, Mrs. Bittle.”

“Oh, please, it’s just Suzanne.”

“I need to go clean up,” Jack said

After Jack left the room, Suzanne said, “That boy’s really got it bad for you.”

Bitty’s heart raced as he opened his mouth to defend him, before he remembered that was exactly what his mom was supposed to think. Still, they weren’t acting any different just then than they did back at the Haus. Or, Bitty hadn’t thought Jack was acting any different.

“I don’t know about that, Mama.”

“I can tell. It’s the way he looks at you when you’re not payin’ attention. Just hopeless, head over heels.”

“Mama,” Bitty whined, embarrassed, but also panicking. Was Jack acting that way just for the sake of their pretense? Or was his mom only seeing what she wanted to see?

“He’s a good one, Dicky. If you have to – well, I’m just glad it’s Jack.”

\---

One morning while Jack and Bitty were finishing decorating the last of the gingerbread trees, white frosting icicles hanging off of 3-D branches, Jack received a phone call.

“Bonjour, Papa,” Jack said, then to Bitty, “excuse me for a sec.”

Suzanne and Bitty stayed in the kitchen as Jack walked out to the hallway. Bitty heard the occasional snippet of French.

“Non, papa – C'était marrant – Nous faisons, uh, du pain d'épice. Oui, gingerbread. ”

“I dated a Frenchman in college,” Suzanne whispered to Bitty conspiratorially. “A foreign exchange student. I had no clue what he was saying, but I swooned at that accent.”

“Mama,” Bitty said, hand over his heart, scandalized. “I thought you and Daddy had been together since high school!”

“I wasn’t with him the _whole_ time,” she said with a wink. “Had to remind him what he’d miss! How else do you think I got him to propose?”

“Mama!”

“My man was tall, dark, and handsome, too,” she sighed. Bitty groaned. “All I’m saying, is I guess now you know where you get it from.”

“Oh, lord. You know, Mama, I—”

Bitty cut off when he heard Jack’s raised voice from outside the kitchen.

“Je n'ai pas été paresseux! C'est les vacances alors j'étais juste - non, Papa. Pardon. Oui. J'irai. Oui. Je suis désolé. Au revoir. ”

Jack reentered the kitchen as he put his phone in his pocket. He stood stiffly in the doorway, staring at the wall.

“Bittle,” he said. “Is there a rink you could take me to?”

“Sure, honey,” Bitty said. “There’s one about twenty minutes away.”

“Maybe we could all go skating tomorrow!” Suzanne said. “That would be fun.”

“No, I need to practice,” Jack snapped. “And Bittle, if your pass from the second period of our last game is anything to judge by, you could use the practice too. I’ll grab my gear and we can go.”

Jack stomped up the stairs before Bitty could reply.

“I did not like that tone,” Suzanne said with a frown.

“He gets like this sometimes,” Bitty sighed. “He’s under a lot of pressure.”

“Pressure or not, he doesn’t have to be rude!”

“I know. I’ll take care of him,” Bitty said. “We’ll go to the rink and blow off some steam.”

“Frankly, I don’t know how I feel about you being alone with him while he’s like this.”

“Oh, Mama, don’t worry. I can handle him.”

Jack didn’t speak in the car the whole way to the ice sports complex where Bitty sometimes practiced. They found a mostly empty rink and did drills until they both were out of breath. Bitty hadn’t seen this version of Captain Jack in some time. He could still be hard during practice and broody after games, even if they won. But Bitty had a feeling he knew what sparked this sudden mood shift.

When they were back in the car Bitty let the engine run to heat up the air, but he didn’t pull out of the parking lot. Jack was leaning against the window, looking guilty now that he had exhausted all his pent-up anger.

“I don’t appreciate the way you spoke to my mother earlier,” Bitty said.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Tell her yourself.” Then, gentler, “Do you feel better now?”

“Not really.”

“We all have our triggers, honey. I don’t blame you for that. But I can only help you if you tell me how.” Jack continued to stare out the window. Bitty sighed. “Jack, please, how do you want me to help you?”

“I like when you call me honey.”

Bitty smiled. “I’d be happy to keep that up, but the boys might look at us funny when we’re back at school.”

“And I like listening to you talk. It calms me down.”

“What do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything you want. Anything that makes you happy.”

Bitty talked to Jack on the ride home. He listed every recipe he could from memory. He came up with other holiday activities they could do together. Jack reached across the console and Bitty took the hint, grabbing Jack’s hand.

When they got back home, Bitty kept hold of Jack’s hand and lead him upstairs to his room. He talked the whole way. He sat Jack on the edge of the bed and wrapped his shoulders in a blanket then, after a second thought, he placed Señor Bun on Jack’s lap. Jack finally cracked a smile.

Bitty sat next to Jack, leaned against him and took his hand in both of his. To his surprise, Jack set Señor Bun aside and reached underneath Bitty’s knees, swinging his legs around so they were lying across Jack’s thighs. Jack nuzzled his face into Bitty’s neck and held onto him.

“I’m still all sweaty from skating, honey. I probably stink.”

“Don’t care.”

Bitty ran his fingers through the short hair at the back of Jack’s neck. Jack’s breathing started to mellow out. He didn’t want to break the spell. Would Jack want to keep doing this with him when they went back to school? Or, like his parents had done, would he try not to acknowledge it all? Jack was his friend, a good friend, but Bitty didn’t think his heart could take how deeply his feelings truly ran if Jack could never feel the same.

“Thanks, Bits,” Jack mumbled into Bitty’s shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about what your dad said?”

“The usual,” Jack said, turning his head to the side so Bitty could hear him more clearly. “Passive aggressive comments that I’m slacking. I need to work twice as hard as anyone else to get past my reputation.”

“Reputation?”

“He doesn’t say it exactly like that. Besides, you know what I mean. The whole world of sports still sees me as a wildcard, the problem child too weak to handle his own shit.”

“As far as I’m concerned, your reputation is as the decorated captain and top scorer of Samwell Men’s Hockey.”

“It’s not just the drugs, Bits. There’re other things he knows about me, too, that could damage my career. He supports me, he does, but he just worries.”

Bitty wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that. What other things? Jack wasn’t offering information so Bitty decided not to push.

“Well, you’re also one of the most compassionate, hardworking men I’ve ever met.”

“Stop, you’ll make me blush.”

“It’s true.”

“I used to be so mean to you, Bits. I never apologized.”

“Never too late.”

Bitty pulled away to look Jack in the eye. Jack licked his lips, glanced down. For a second their mouths were almost an inch away.

There was a knock on Bitty’s door and Suzanne let herself in. Jack released Bitty from his arms and Bitty scrambled off Jack’s lap.

“Everything alright in here?” Suzanne asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, Mama.”

“I’m sorry for my outburst earlier, Mrs. Bittle,” Jack said. “I feel better now. It won’t happen again.”

“I appreciate the apology,” Suzanne said, her face softening. “And I told you, call me Suzanne.”

“Suzanne. I’m sorry.”

“It’s quite alright, Jack.” Suzanne gave Bitty a look and Bitty smiled reassuringly. Suzanne fully relaxed. “I came up to see if you boys would be up to helping me bring the gingerbread house out to the car and be on damage control, so we can take it to the municipal auditorium to be judged.”

“Of course!” Bitty said, jumping up. “Jack?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

Jack and Bitty both sat in the back seat of the car, holding separate pieces of the gingerbread house. It was a gingerbread recreation of Santa’s workshop, complete with edible elves and reindeer. When they arrived at the auditorium, they found their assigned spot at the judges table and set up everything, adding last minute touches and dusting everything with powdered sugar snow.

“So, when do we eat it?” Jack asked.

“After we win, honey. They judge tomorrow morning, then we’ll get the results after Christmas.”

They toured the rest of the submissions when they were finished setting up their gingerbread house. There were several charming creations (except Dolores White’s, which was predictably tacky), but they all had to agree that they had the winner.

Afterwards, they got hot chocolate and took a walk in the park to see the lights and decorations. Coach joined them at that point and trailed behind with Suzanne while Jack and Bitty walked ahead, Jack’s arm around Bitty’s shoulder.

“Thank you for today, Bits,” Jack said.

“What for?”

“Putting up with me. Taking care of me.”

“It’s really the least I could do, after all you’ve done for me here. You know my mama keeps trying to talk boys with me now?”

Jack laughed out loud, really laughed, throwing his head back. “Oh no.”

“It’s true,” Bitty laughed. “Apparently a thing for accents runs in the family!”

“You have a thing for accents?” Jack raised a suggestive eyebrow.

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.”

“Canadian accents, perhaps?”

Bitty blushed. He hoped it was too dark for Jack to notice. “Don’t push your luck, Zimmermann.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Bittle.”

Jack turned around to look behind him, and Bitty looked too, wondering what Jack was looking for. All he could see were his parents, not paying attention to them and looking at a lit-up nativity scene. Bitty turned back around only to find Jack stooped down next to his face.

“Jack?”

Jack quickly leaned in and pecked Bitty on the cheek.

Bitty stared at Jack, pressed his gloved hand against the spot Jack had kissed.

“What was that for?”

“Don’t worry, Bits, they didn’t see.”

Bitty laughed, voice ringing loud and clear through the biting winter air, his breath puffing out in small clouds in front of him. Jack was just _ridiculous_.

“Are they still not looking?”

Jack took a surreptitious glance behind them.

“We’re in the clear,” he said.

Bitty turned his head and tapped a finger against the other cheek. Jack grinned and leaned down, kissing him again.

Bitty felt warm from the tips of his ears all the way to his toes.

\---

Christmas Eve, according to Bittle tradition, had to be spent entirely in pajamas. Christmas day they would attend church and have a formal dinner with MooMaw, so they had to take advantage of the day before.

Jack was in high spirits. He helped them cook pies for the next day and used his extremely muscular arms to mash potatoes for them. Bitty was proud of himself for not overtly drooling, though his mom did give him a smirk like she knew exactly what was on his mind.

Especially after Jack stood under the kitchen doorway, eyeing a new piece of decor.

“Is that mistletoe?” Jack asked.

“Sure is,” Suzanne said. “I bought it when we were out last night. Sweet, isn’t it?”

“Very sweet,” Jack agreed. “Hey, uh, Bittle. I think I need some help over here.”

Bitty, who had been focused on his lattice crust, wasn’t paying attention.

“Hmm? With what, honey?”

“Just come over here and I’ll show you.”

“What’s even over there that needs --” Bitty turned around and saw Jack raising his eyebrows at the mistletoe. “Very funny, Jack. But I can’t be distracted from baking that easily.”

Jack pouted and Bitty snickered, shaking his head. Bitty went back to his pie but Jack continued to hover by the door.

“Oh, I just realized, we need the ceramic ramekins from the china cabinet,” Suzanne said. “Dicky, can you run and get them for me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Bitty had barely crossed the threshold of the door when Jack started tugging him back by his apron strings.

“Mr. Zimmermann!” Bitty laughed. “What is the meaning of this?”

“Ya gotta kiss under the mistletoe, Bits, or it’s bad luck.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

“Humor me, eh?” Jack said, a glint in his eye as he placed his hands around Bitty’s waist. “Can’t have it on my conscience that I let you get cursed by mistletoe.”

Bitty let out a put-upon sigh, but lifted his chin so Jack could lean down to kiss him. He expected Jack to go for the cheek, like he had the night before, so Bitty started to angle his face one way as Jack came in from the opposite direction. They ended up meeting in the middle.

Jack kissed him on the corner of his mouth, then, perhaps in an effort to make it seem less like an accident, kissed him again full on the lips.

Jack made apologetic eye contact with Bitty, a look of panic crossing over his face, but Bitty placed a comforting hand on his arm. Jack relaxed, giving him a shy smile, and Bitty thought he might turn to a puddle right then and there.

It was a chaste, quick peck, and it was also the most romantic thing that had ever happened in Bitty’s life. Straight out of a Hallmark movie.

Until Bitty noticed his mom’s tense shoulders out the corner of his eye. She was pretending she hadn’t seen them, gaze focused on the apples she was coring and slicing. But also there was a small, knowing smile on her face.

“You set me up!” Bitty accused.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about, Dicky,” Suzanne said lightly. “Now quit dawdling, crème brûlée can’t set itself!”

After a full day of cooking and baking, Bitty and Jack sat together on the couch, eating too many cookies and watching _A Christmas Story_ on TV.

“Don’t stay up too late, boys,” Coach said.

“Otherwise Santa won’t come,” Suzanne teased.

“Har har. Goodnight, Mama.”

“Night, hon.”

“C’mon, Suzie,” Coach said, tugging Suzanne by the hand. Suzanne giggled. “I have an early present for you.”

Bitty groaned as they left the room.

“Lord, I hope they don’t have sex.”

“They’ve probably been saying the same thing about us.”

“Jack!”

“You know I’m right.”

“Oh my goodness.” Bitty’s eyes widened in horror. “You are definitely right. My parents must think I’m a hoe.”

“A ho ho ho?”

“Jaaack.”

Bitty hid his face in his hands as Jack laughed.

“Don’t worry, Bits, I’m withholding all judgements.”

“I’ve never even had my first kiss,” Bitty admitted. “Well, I guess technically I have now, since my mama went and hung up a buncha mistletoe.”

Jack abruptly stopped laughing.

“Oh, god, Bitty. I’m so sorry.”

“No, I wasn’t trying to guilt you! It’s sort of funny, if you think about it.”

Funny that Bitty’s first kiss would be with the straight man he’d pined after for months who was only kissing him to keep up the pretense of a fake relationship.

Hilarious.

“But you’ve…you’ve gone on dates, haven’t you? I saw you with guys at Winter Screw.”

“One of whom you rescued me from after he barfed all over me, remember? I wasn’t about to kiss that mouth.”

“Huh.”

“I didn’t think this would surprise you so much.” Bitty shrugged. “I figured you knew.”

“And I figured you had guys lining up at your door,” Jack said. His expression was so baffled that Bitty had to laugh.

“Why would you think that?”

“You’ve got it all! You’re an athlete, a good one. You cook, you’re funny, and you’ve got a heart the size of North America! You’re a goddamn catch, Bittle! Any boy would be lucky to kiss you.”

Jack seemed surprised at his own outburst. He stared at Bitty, like he had said too much. Bitty’s stomach turned. It wasn’t _any_ boy that he wanted.

“Maybe I just hadn’t found the right boy to kiss yet.”

“I’m so sorry. If I knew--”

“It’s okay,” Bitty said, smiling sadly. “I’m actually glad it got to be you, because I know it won’t be something I regret later.”

“Bits--”

“Jack.” Bitty shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “Let’s head to bed. Then it’ll be Christmas sooner.”

Bitty had some realizations the night before, when Jack had innocently kissed his cheek. He knew he had a crush on Jack, had _been_ crushing on Jack all semester, despite attempts to reach out to the actual guys who were interested in him, or the ones who Ransom and Holster set him up with.

But whenever he looked at Jack, he got shivers down his spine and he could hear his heart in his ears. At night, he dreamt about Jack’s blue eyes, the curve of his mouth, the weight of his body on his. Nobody else had ever made him feel like Jack did.

Bitty was falling for Jack, and Jack was only pretending.

Bitty knew he had to tell Jack, that nothing could come of it, but it wasn’t fair to keep it from him. He resolved to tell him back at school, and not while he was trapped with Bitty for the rest of the holidays.

Bitty woke up in the middle of the night. He blinked in the darkness, trying to figure out what had awoken him, when he saw that the air mattress was empty.

Bitty looked down the upstairs hallway, but the bathroom light wasn’t on. He tiptoed downstairs, socked feet muffling his steps. As he passed the living room, he saw Jack curled up on the couch, staring into the golden glow of the Christmas tree. His eyes were red and puffy, and Bitty immediately felt the need to reach out and touch, to comfort him, but instead he climbed onto the other end of the couch, tucking his legs underneath himself.

“Waiting up for Santa?” Bitty asked. Jack acknowledged him with a small tilt of the head.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Jack said. “I’ve been thinking.”

“What about?”

“You know how I told you that my dad worries?”

“Uh huh.”

“That excuse I gave to your parents, about having to stay in the closet to protect my career? That was my dad’s advice.”

Bitty’s heart skipped a beat. “Jack, what are you –”

“He doesn’t disapprove. Not really, though we don’t really talk about it. I like girls, too, so it’s never been as much of a problem. But then there was Parse.”

“What about Parse?”

“I know you overheard us at that kegster before break, Bits.” Jack finally sat up, looked Bitty in the eye. “Those rumors are true, too. Kenny and I…well, it was a long time ago.”

“Jack, why are telling me this?”

“I know you only went along with this because you think I’m straight,” Jack said. “You’re my friend and you trusted me, but I wasn’t being honest with you. When I offered to do this, I thought I could -- fuck, Bits.”

Jack swung his legs over the edge of the couch and rested his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands.

“I like boys, Bitty,” Jack said to the ground. “And I like you. A lot. I’m sorry.”

Bitty reached for Jack’s hands, pulling them away from his face and then tilting up his chin.

“Jack, I like you, too.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do, you silly man. I’ve been afraid to tell you because I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Scare me?”

Bitty let out a sudden laugh. “So, we’ve both been pretending to like each other while secretly really liking each other and pretending not to like each other?”

“Uh, yes?”

“Oh, lord.”

Jack started to laugh, too. Until they were both fighting fits of laughter while trying to keep quiet. Jack pulled Bitty into his arms and hugged him tight. Bitty sighed into the hug, breathed in the scent of Jack, smiled. Jack parted them slightly, still holding him, but far away enough he could look him in the eye.

“In that case, Eric Bittle, former fake boyfriend, would you want to, maybe, go out sometime? Try this for real?”

“Oh, honey,” Bitty flew back into Jack’s embrace, wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck. “Yes! Absolutely, please and thank you, yes!”

Jack lifted Bitty onto his lap, Bitty giggling, and held him closer. They stayed like that for several moments, until Jack shifted their heads apart again.

“Can, um, can I kiss you? Also for real this time?”

“Yes,” Bitty breathed.

Jack brushed a thumb against Bitty’s cheek, cupping his hand under his jaw to tilt his head to the side. Bitty’s eyelids fluttered closed as the first brush of Jack’s lips met his. Finally, Jack firmly closed his lips against Bitty’s.

It was nothing like the first kiss and so much more than Bitty dreamed. He didn’t dare open his eyes in case he was truly in one and might wake up. He kissed Jack again and again, their mouths moving together like a whispered conversation. Bitty slid his hands down Jack’s shoulders, over his chest, and Jack moaned as he lowered his hands to Bitty’s waist, and then his lower back.

Bitty finally did open his eyes and shifted his weight, adjusting their position so he was straddling Jack’s lap. The only noise was the sound of their soft breathing, the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree reflected in Jack’s eyes, violet colored in the dark and pupils blown large as he smiled up at Bitty.

“You’re beautiful,” Jack said. Bitty looked away, embarrassed. “Especially when you get all red like that. It’s very cute.”

“You think I’m cute?”

“You _are_ cute.” Jack kissed the tip of his nose, his cheek, across his jaw, then stopped just below his ear. Bitty’s breath hitched.

“ _Jack.”_ Bitty started to babble as Jack sucked at his neck. “Jack, you don’t know how much I’ve wanted this. How much I wanted you. Thought about this so many times but never really believed –”

Jack kissed him on the mouth again, and Bitty parted his lips, letting his tongue dart out just a little. Jack opened for him and _lord_ Bitty had always wanted to know what Jack tasted like. Turned out it was like peppermint toothpaste and sugar.

Jack moved back to sucking Bitty’s neck and Bitty desperately hoped there would be a mark there the next day. Then Jack kissed up to his jaw and scraped his teeth over Bitty’s earlobe.

Bitty moaned out loud and Jack clamped a hand over his mouth.

“Ssshh,” Jack whispered in Bitty’s ear, raising goosebumps all along Bitty’s arms. “Your parents will hear!”

“Maybe we should finish this upstairs,” Bitty whispered back.

“Yeah, probably.”

Bitty and Jack simultaneously leaned in to kiss each other again. Then again. And once more.

Bitty rested his forehead against Jack’s.

“You’re very good at this,” Bitty said.

“Thank you.”

“Oh, Jack,” Bitty sighed, running a hand through the long hair over Jack’s forehead. “What are we going to do back at school? What do we tell your parents?”

“I don’t know,” Jack said. “We can talk it over in the morning.”

They sat and held each other again, lazily brushing lips against skin. Jack’s hands ran up and down Bitty’s back, occasionally lingering on the skin exposed between his pants and his shirt. Bitty shivered.

“Let’s go upstairs, honey.”

Jack smiled, mirroring the look in Bitty’s eye. “Alright.”

The clock in the hallway struck twelve as they moved off the couch, and Jack lead Bitty into the hallway. Before the went to the stairs, Bitty pulled Jack into the kitchen doorway, under the mistletoe, for one more kiss. Bitty stood on his tiptoes just to reach him.

Jack held both Bitty’s hands in his and whispered so low Bitty could barely hear him.

“Merry Christmas, Bits.”

Bitty tugged Jack down by the collar to kiss him on the cheek and whisper back.

“Merry Christmas, Jack.”

**Author's Note:**

> I got so carried away writing this fic and I can't believe that I managed to complete it before Christmas, but when the muse moves you...and my muse happens to be cute hockey boys learning to express their feelings ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> As aforementioned, the French in this fic is perhaps not the most accurate and tbh is straight outta google translate. If you know French (or, even better, Québécois) I would not be offended if you have a correction for me lol. 
> 
> If you would like to share this fic on tumblr, you can find a post (with a cute ~aesthetic graphic) [here](http://edgarallanrose.tumblr.com/post/181349657420/guess-whos-coming-to-christmas-dinner-chapters), or just come check out my blog and say hi!
> 
> Thank you all for reading and I hope you're enjoying the holiday season <3


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